In my life coaching practice, whenever I am able to help a client to understand presence, the
entire conversation takes on a new shape. Suddenly, there is an anchor
point to which the conversation can moor itself. A context can be
created whereby problems, grievances, obstacles, and negative
emotions can be seen as being the product of a mind that has wandered
into regrets from the past or fears about the future, far away from the
present moment.
Often the coaching conversation itself
serves to create presence for a client. A particular problem or concern
from the client is heard, and with poignant questions from the coach,
the client is able to examine the roots of the ‘problem’ and strip away
the illusory ideas and false beliefs that are holding that problem in
place. The client’s own realization that the ‘problem’ is not connected
to the present moment, along with the emotional relief that comes as a
result of that awareness, reinforces the notion that connecting to the
present moment–which is actually the only moment we can ever truly
connect to–is all that is needed.
Surrendering To The Moment
When working by ourselves, the Zen koan,
‘What, in this present moment, is lacking?’ can be helpful to ponder.
Indeed, it is impossible to truly be in the present moment and actually object to
something that is present–all things of that moment are accepted and
taken as part of the perfection of that moment. To feel the harmony of
all things that make up that moment is to be one with the moment. A sense of peace is an inevitable consequence.
The motto of spiritual teacher Ram Dass is one of my favorites: Be Here Now.
A phrase so simple it belies its own profundity. Ram Dass emphasizes
that presence is surrendering power and control over then moment, and
detaching ourselves from any ‘preferred’ present state and simply
aligning with the present state that is.
The most exquisite paradox… as soon as
you give it all up, you can have it all. As long as you want power, you
can’t have it. The minute you don’t want power, you’ll have more than
you ever dreamed possible.
If we are able to follow the imperative to be here now
every hour of every day, we would no longer experience guilt,
suffering, regret, judgment, grievance, or any other negative emotion.
Rising And Falling
Alas, learning to be present is not
usually a one-shot deal, although a few people, including some who have
had near-death experiences, have had a sudden and significant shift into
presence that imbues their daily experience.
For most of us, learning about presence
is a gradual experience that comes and goes like waves rising and
falling on the shore. To even be seeking presence in our lives, many of
us need that first, seemingly random magical experience, often in
natural surroundings, in which we intuit a tremendous connectedness and
oneness with everything around us, and feel a great sense of peace,
well-being, and compassion for all things.
When the feeling fades, sometimes after
many hours of bliss, we seek a reunion with this experience for the rest
of our lives. This becomes an incentive to forge ahead on our spiritual
journey, where we search for how we can reunite with this experience,
and hopefully more permanently.
Awareness Beyond Thinking
Eckhart Tolle, one of the pre-eminent speakers on the subject of presence, explains it this way:
Presence is the arising of a dimension
of consciousness from where you can become aware that there is a voice
in the head. That awareness is beyond thinking. It’s a space of
consciousness where you can be the observer of your own mind—the
awareness behind the thought processes.
For human beings to discover this
dimension is extraordinarily important. It is in fact, as I see it, the
next step in the evolution of humanity.
Tolle discusses practices where you
simply sit silently and pay attention to the next thought that comes to
you, and then the next. With focus, it becomes possible to notice that
we are not really thinking most of our thoughts–often they are thinking
us. The realization that we are more than our thoughts creates in us a
more authentic identity, one that frees us from many of the addictive
thought patterns we otherwise consider an unavoidable part of who we
are:
When you no longer look to the mind to provide you with
your sense of identity — because your sense of identity now comes now
from a deeper place — that’s the shift that changes everything,
dramatically. It is the most important thing that can happen in your
lifetime.
As Presence arises you’ll find in many areas of your life enormous
improvements. One is that the voice in the head that before created such
anguish and unhappiness no longer has that power over you.
This is a bit of a different way to
arrive at presence: recognize that we have an egoic ‘mind’ that can only
reside in the past or the future, and see that who we actually are transcends the
thought patterns of that egoic mind. Essentially, when we catch
ourselves in states of distress and anxiety, we can remember that we are
in this state because we give credence to the thoughts we are thinking
as representative of who we are. Moving away from these thoughts and our habit of identifying with them opens the gates of presence.
Developing A Trigger Into Presence
Like most, I still get caught up often
in distraction and judgment and feel the negative emotions that come
with it. Sometimes I have enough awareness to ask myself the rhetorical
question, “Did you forget that everything, in this moment, is
perfect?” Because I deeply believe this to be true, this reminder often
has the power to snap me quickly out of a state of negative emotion and
more fully into presence and the acceptance of the moment.
We each have to develop our own triggers
that help us to re-enter presence. But these triggers cannot be mere
words, they must be deeply held beliefs which, through your own critical
thought and experimentation, you hold to be true.
When we look at this critical thought
and experimentation as the foundation of the journey of evolution that
spans our lifetimes, we no longer have to be in any ‘rush’ to find
presence. Indeed, when we stop rushing to find presence and experience
inner peace, that’s when we find it.
Part of my own critical thought and
experimentation has been enriched by regular and ongoing digestion of
great writings and oral presentations on the matter, from traditions
such as Zen Buddhism, and from spiritual teachers like Ram Dass, Eckhart
Tolle, Dr. David Hawkins, Deepak Chopra, Wayne Dyer, and a great list
of others.
You will find that all great thinkers on
the matter of presence are saying almost the same things using
different words, and you will recognize the words not as truth
themselves but as pointers to the truth. From there you gradually hone
your own truth, which could be put into a phrase like I do, or could
just be an inner knowing that, when remembered, allows you to move into
presence at your leisure.
Source:
https://www.collective-evolution.com/2018/08/30/learning-presence-the-greatest-gift-you-could-ever-give-yourself/
